well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
