I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
