You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
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