did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
