Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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