Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Randomize
