my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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