You really coming over, don't trick.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
