We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I'm jealous of your bromance
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
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