I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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