you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
