yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
