I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
