The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
