is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
