no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
