ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
