Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
P.S. I can't hear my feet
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Randomize
