New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
