So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
