Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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