so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
I don't think brook has ever known best
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
