I think my fart just growled at me.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize