The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
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