sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
