I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
