No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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