just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
I just made out with a guy for $7.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Randomize
