Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
