wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Couch. On fire.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
