i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
