He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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