it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Randomize
