I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
