Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Randomize
