Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
