I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
