i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
