I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
