She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
