Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Randomize
