It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
