We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
