Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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