do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
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