go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
