After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Ketchup is God's man juice
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
