Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Holy sore nipples Batman
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Randomize
