He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
