And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Randomize
