More tranny stories later!
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
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