I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
