My room smells like vodka and shame
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
did i just pee glitter
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
