Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
We talked him into tasing himself.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Randomize
