apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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