Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
