I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
