he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Also, beer. Big fan.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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