Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
