We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize
