He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
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