There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
