Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
His hands were made for my vagina.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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