I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
