just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Randomize