I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Randomize
