I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
why do cheetos always look like penises
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
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